Facing the Generation Gap in Our Churches Today

I don’t know what your church looks like, after a usual Sunday service, but this is what I have noticed in a number of churches I have attended. This seems to be the general pattern in a number of conservative reformed churches.

The older members are sitting down drinking their coffee together. Moms are gathered around the nursery collecting their children after the service. The youth are standing in their respective circles. The ‘middle aged’ couples are scattered around, talking with their friends and family. The all but the youngest children are no where to be seen, for they are squirreled away in Sunday School listening to Bible stories they already know.

 

There are a number of ‘issues’ revealed here, one of them is the generation gap, the other is the discussion regarding the pros and cons of age-segregated church ministries. I want to focus in on the generation gap. What does this look like? Well, pretty much like the instance above. People within the church spend the majority of their time with others the same age. The generations are not creating bonds and ties. In a way, this is natural. We tend to have more in common with those our own age. But, for a healthy and strong church, it is essential that all ages mingle.

Imagine what knowledge the older members are able to pass on to the younger ones. Older people are full of wisdom and knowledge gained through one of the best teachers: life experience. Younger members are able to create joy in the lives of the older members. Share their passions and zeal, as well as serve and care for the older members.

Age-wise, the youth are really in the middle of the church. There are children and infants younger than them as well. Creating bonds with the children can lead into bonds that will last a lifetime, and strengthen the church in years to come. These children also have parents, parents who are often tired and very busy. The youth can step in there too. Serve families within the church, and at the same time glean much knowledge for later in life.

This isn’t just me talking, this is also what God has commanded. He has commanded this specifically in I Timothy 5 & Titus 2. In I Timothy 5 Paul gives us advice on dealing with, and working with those within the church, he pointed his teaching at Timothy, a pastor, but this can be applied to us all as well, specifically verses 1 & 2 which say, “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers,older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.” Titus 2 is even clearer. verses 1-10 explicitly teach how we are to act within the church. Verse 4 really brings out the command for the older members to counsel the younger members. It is addresses to women, but applies for men as well

“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.”

 

So, what should our churches look like after the average Sunday service? A couple youth sitting down and sharing coffee with the older members. Middle-aged men and women connecting with and mentoring the younger men and women. A number of girls and young ladies heading to the nursery offering to watch little ones, so their mom’s don’t have run after them. Children of all ages running around, interacting with everyone.

 

How do we change this and start bridging the gap? Ultimately this needs to come from the hearts of every family within the church.

Here are some suggestions:

- organize church gatherings which bring together all people of all ages within the church. A potluck supper combined with some fun sports, board games, and such is an amazing idea

-Invite people over to your house. It doesn’t have to be supper, dessert or a campfire is sufficient. Invite members from across the ages. Connect with them, create relationships with them. Discuss important topics with them.

-Simply walk up to people you don’t know so well and ask them how their week was. You go to church with them every week, and drink coffee made in the same coffee percolator. They are standing a walking distance away. Connect with them.

 

I realize that the latter picture is rather idealistic, but it can be at least partly attained. I have been in churches where this actually happens, it takes time and effort and an intentional move towards getting to know everyone within your congregation.

 

What are you doing in your congregation to bridge the generation gap?

Dusting Off Friendships

Today I was {finally} dusting my room, which consisted of dusting numerous picture frames. Each of those pictures encapsulate a memory, or a good friend. As I was dusting off my Gillespie Class picture from a couple of years ago I realized that sometimes there are people in our lives we forget about. People that made an impact on our lives or needed a friend. People we spent time with, and who our lives wouldn’t be the same without.

I realized that there was more than my room that needed dusting. There are some friendships that need dusting too. Messages and e-mails need to be sent. Because people and relationships are important.

I also realized that, not only do a couple relationships with people need to be dusted off, my relationship with God needs to be dusted off too. Because I don’t read or study His work enough. Because I don’t talk to him enough. Sitting in church on Sunday and reading your bible without thinking about it doesn’t count. I am completely failing in that relationship.

But, God NEVER fails. He never needs to dust off His relationships with anyone. He is unchanging, unmoving and always there. He is there for us failing, floundering individuals not matter what happens. What comfort we can take from that fact!!!

Do you have some friendships that need to be dusted off? People you haven’t kept up with? A coffee date that needs to be made?

What about your relationship with God? Could it use some dusting, some focus turned back to Him?

The Sacrament of Baptism

I want to start with the beginning of time...

God created the world, and established the covenant of works (Genesis 2:16&17) with man. The requirements of this covenant were: man could eat of any tree in the Garden of Eden except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If he did so, he would die. His relationship with God would be broken and he would struggle with sin for rest of his life.

Man shattered his end of the covenant, consequently falling into sin (Genesis 3). The perfect relationship he had with God was severed. Because Adam and Eve fell, all man is now dead in sin. We are completely insufficient, dependent and utterly unable to do any good in our own strength. We all deserve God's punishment and wrath for eternity.

However God, in His grace and mercy has another plan. This plan is called the covenant of grace (Genesis 3:15). God promised Adam and Eve, and through them all man, that He would send a mediator. A mediator who would be sent to come between Himself and man, taking the punishment for man's sin. This Mediator is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. If man believes in Christ, seeing himself as a worthless sinner in the sight of God, and seeing Christ as Savior, man is free from this curse of sin. Christ takes the blame, the guilt, and the sin. He came to die, so that we can be set free.

As a sign of this covenant to Abraham, God instituted circumcision (Genesis 17). All male children were to be circumcised as a reminder that they, as children of believers hoping in a coming Christ, were under this covenant. They were given the same promise as their parents were, and even though they could not understand it yet, they had a responsibility to believe in the coming Christ as Savior from sin as they became older. Parents had the same responsibility to believe, but also to teach their children about the coming Christ.
Years later, Christ did come. He overcame sin and death. He won the victory over Satan, so that we may be free from the wrath and punishment of sin. As New Testament believers we believe in a Christ who has come. We are not looking at shadows of what is to come; we can clearly see the glory of Christ's redemptive work.

The Covenant of Grace lives on between the Father and His people. The Covenant Promise continues to be given to children when they are conceived. The outward sign has changed (circumcision), and no longer holds significance, just as the ceremonial sacrifices. Nevertheless, God comes to us with the same promise (Acts 2: 38&39). Children of those who have taken hold of the promise and believe, are given the sign of baptism. Those who have been baptized have the great responsibility to plead upon that promise, and believe in Christ as our Savior from sin. God has promised to save those who believe from sin, and He will not forsake it.

The baptism of infants flows directly out of the Covenant of Grace. God comes to us while were are still sinners and promises salvation through Christ if we believe. This was signified in the Old Testament through circumcision and continues on throughout the ages; signified through the baptism of infants.

Ecclesiastes 12: 1-7

Last night in Youth Group we went over the last two of Ecclesiastes to conclude our study of the book. What hit me was the way that Solomon describes the process of aging. The words that he uses are poetry. The kind of poetry and use of metaphors that make me smile.

It is also a very good call to reflect on our youth, and what we are doing with it. We are called to heed the call of Christ, and live for Him, before we are too old. Why waste years of our lives serving ourselves when we can bring glory to God?

What are you going to do with your life while you still have the time and energy to do it?

 

1 Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth,
Before the difficult days come,
And the years draw near when you say,
“I have no pleasure in them”:
² While the sun and the light,
The moon and the stars,
Are not darkened,
And the clouds do not return after the rain;

These are the days when you are still young
³ In the day when the keepers of the house tremble,
And the strong men bow down;
When the grinders cease because they are few,
And those that look through the windows grow dim;

Weakness. Losing teeth. Losing eyesight
⁴ When the doors are shut in the streets,
And the sound of grinding is low;
When one rises up at the sound of a bird,
And all the daughters of music are brought low.

Your hearing is affected
⁵ Also they are afraid of height,
And of terrors in the way;
When the almond tree blossoms,
The grasshopper is a burden,
And desire fails.
For man goes to his eternal home,
And the mourners go about the streets.

Old people become scared and worry. They lose the desire to work. And finally we all die.

Next verse: Hair becomes grey

⁶ Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed,
Or the golden bowl is broken,
Or the pitcher shattered at the fountain,
Or the wheel broken at the well.
⁷ Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God who gave it.

A Change of Attitude (because I don’t know what else to call it)

I was doing some research for a school project, and came upon a statistic that said that only about 71% of Canadians have a full or part-time job. Now, I didn’t back that stat up with more research, but I think it is fairly close to reality.

This reality is incredibly sad. We live in one of the richest, well off countries in the world, and over 25% of our population doesn’t have any kind of job. Our literacy (ability to read) rates are not near as high as they should be either.

We can ask, “why?” We can try theorize about the how. We can blame it on the economy, the government or the number of new immigrants, anything. But, what is really going to change our country around?
It is called a change of mind. A mind of diligence and perseverance. A desire to learn and work and provide.

Attitudes need to be changed in all levels of society, from the poorest of the poor to the Prime Minister sitting on the seat in Ottawa.

And the only thing that is going to change those attitudes is essentially Christ. Naturally we don’t gravitate towards work. We are lazy.

So… starting the change? It starts with YOU, with ME. Sharing Christ’s love and gospel. Engaging in conversations and reaching out to people. Praying for lives and hearts to be changed. Having a vision of change.

The Wilderness vs. the Contentious Woman

The other day at lunch time Mom was reading from Proverbs 21. We were reading verse 19, which says, “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.”

We have heard that verse lots of times… and the thought is repeated throughout Proverbs. We know what it means.

Well, in the mind of a ten-year-old boy who would live outside if he could, this verse took on a literal meaning. It went something like this…

“Of course. I want to live in the wilderness anyways, so why don’t I just forget about the woman? No woman will want to live in the wilderness anyways.”

Problem solved. The wilderness always wins.

You will never have to deal with a contentious woman if you just don’t have one? Right?

I love little people logic. Sometimes it just makes total sense…

 

It is also a warning for us though. Ladies, don’t ever be that woman. EVER. Men, be careful in who you marry. Don’t marry a woman who is going to get under your skin every day.

Gift Giving -White and Navy Blue Chevron Dress

A family in our church just had a little girl last week. I made her big sister a Navy and White Chevron Maxi Skirt in the spring, so I thought it would be fun if they could match. :) 

A white knit bodice and lined chevron skirt. I added gathers to the shoulders for a more feminine look. I tried something new by adding the opening at the back. I think I like it. The hem of the skirt is left raw, so the stretch is kept, and just to add a bit of extra detail. :)

In the end, I love how it turned out. Simple, yet super cute. The best part is that the sisters match, but aren't totally the same. 

Congratulations Adrian and Katie!!! May your little lady grow up to bless many around her. May she become a woman who follows the Lord. :)

Re-Fashion: Cardigan Re-sizing

My sister and I bought these really warm cardigans at Tommy Hilfiger a couple of winters ago. They are the warmest ever, and yet so versatile and classy. I got the navy one in a size smaller, my sister got an oatmeal-grey. My sister’s didn’t fit very well, as it was a size too big, and was going to be donated. I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass, so I re-sized it.

I followed simple re-fashion steps, taking in the side and arm seams. There are oodles of tutorials out there, you can also ask me questions if I am not clear enough.

I laid out the smaller one on top of the bigger one, and pinned where I would have to sew.

 

Don’t cut your sweater, just sew down the sides. You can trim off the excess, but be careful. Because these are knitted sweaters they will unravel easily; I would suggest using the serger.

I’ll admit it… I truthfully didn’t even cut the excess off, and you can’t even tell. I made it a bit looser for a more comfortable, relaxed look anyways.

The bigger one is a bit longer on both the body and the sleeves, but I don’t mind. :) Sleeves are usually too short on me anyways, so this is perfect.

Pair this newly-fitted cardigan with a jean skirt, a scarf (that is actually not a infinity scarf, but was tied into one), fleece-lined tights and boot socks.

The result: I super warm, yet classy outfit for these freezing cold temperatures we have been having.

*sorry for the horrible pictures. Frustrating problems with my camera*

Gift Giving – Jumper Set

Close friends of mine had a little girl at the end of January, so I wanted to give them something really special. And what can get more special than handmade, right? ;)

I took a size 3-6 months jumper from the shop, and added a diaper cover. For the diaper cover, I again headed over to Dana’s awesome tutorial. I love how her tutorials are so simple and easy to follow, and give you lots of room for creativity. I went simple on this outfit, but I love the fabric and the extra detail on the hem of the jumper. And you truthfully can’t get any cuter than a diaper cover. :)

A special gift for a special little girl!!! Congratulations Matt and Jess!!! :) May the Lord continue to richly bless you as you strive to raise your little lady in the fear of the Lord!!!

Copyrights and Creativity

I am currently taking a required communication course entitled ‘Critical & Innovative Thinking”. Each week we have to write a response to a certain question/issue and then post it on the discussion board. Here is this week’s assignment. As I was writing, I realized this is an interesting topic, and worth sharing.

Assignment: How, in your view, does music both respond to and create social activism? In your response try to consider some of the issues relating to protest (social commentary) songs and songwriters (Green Day, Beastie Boys, Black Eyed Peas, Ani DiFranco, Rage Against the Machine, Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie etc…) and to how copyright/commerce might affect an artist’s ability to address ethical concerns in our society?

I am going to begin by saying that I don’t know much about music, and am not a music person. I enjoy the old classical composers, such as Bach and Mendelssohn, and a number of the songs by contemporary Christian singers such as Keith and Kristen Getty and Matt Redman. As for any other music, I can’t say much. I am coming at this from outside of the music world and looking in.

Music both responds to and creates social activism. Or maybe I should state that as ‘creates and responds to social activism’. I believe that social activism originates from ideas, and those ideas are shared through many different ways; writing, protests, music, etc. Music is a very powerful tool in sharing these ideas, and eventually triggering and creating social activism. It is also highly emotional, which I think is why it is so influential. Music is also created as an expression of response to this activism. People respond in various ways to the ideas flowing around them, and once again music can be a specific person’s response.

Here is where the real issue comes in. We have established music is both a response to and creates social activism. What about those copyright laws? Considering them creates an ethical issue. Are we stealing or being creative when we use, alter or base your ideas off of someone else’s?

There is a reason why there are copyright laws regarding music. I agree that taking what others have created and using, altering or using their ideas as your starting point is technically stealing. It is breaking the eight commandment (Exodus 20). In preventing this, those copyright laws are doing a good thing. But, do these copyright laws hinder us from being creative and from sharing and addressing other concerns in our society?
What are your thoughts?

The topic of creativity rises here. Is the using of another’s ideas true creativity? Is creativity completely original, or does it include working with what someone else has started, and making that so much better, and very much different? Does it include thinking beyond what someone else has started and creating something more wonderful from it? Is it fine if you cite the original author and market your version as an arrangement, alteration, or whatever you may call it? 

This issue is relevant across all areas of creativity. I run into the same issues with my sewing business. I am sure graphic designers and photographers run into these issues as well. Never mind all of you music people.

What are your thoughts on the following?
1) Do copyright laws hinder us from being creative and from sharing and addressing other concerns in our society?
2) What really is true creativity?

Needed: Advice for My Spring Line

So… moms/Grandmas/Aunties out there… I need some advice.

What are you looking to dress your little people in this coming spring and summer? What colors and styles? Casual, dressy? More boys clothes? Would you like extended sizing… so up to kids size 12 for example?

I am willing to take specific styles and suggestions… such as ‘pintucks on the hem of a skirt’ for example

And, I am also still accepting custom orders of any kind. Just let me know what you have dreamed up, and I will see what I can do to make it happen!!! :)

It is all as simple as leaving me a lovely kind note. Who knows, if you idea ends up in this new line… you could win something lovely!!! ;)

Gift Giving –Baking Set

My cousin’s birthday was yesterday, and so I thought I would give her something fun, yet useful. I used one of the aprons from the shop and added a pocket. The wooden spoons are from the dollar store.

I made some oven mitts based on a small pair in the cupboard, using some quilt batting so they are insulating.

I had a bit of extra doughnut fabric, so I created a bag to not only hold the whole set, but also so I didn’t have to wrap it!!! :)

All set and ready to be given!! :) Happy Birthday Daniella!!

Gift Giving –A Little Man’s Outfit

My cousin and her husband had a little boy a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to give them something special. I went for partly handmade, partly store-bought. I know, I should have gone all the way handmade, but sometimes it is just easier to buy part of it.

I gave them a pair of my Light Grey Tweed Pants. They are super cute, and super comfortable, as they are fully lined with blue, white and grey plaid flannel. I bought the shirt at H&M. She already bought the blue bowtie from me before the baby was born. :)

All wrapped and ready to go!! Because the wrapping is all part of the fun. :)

Gift Giving –Purple Ruffle Dress

A little friend of mine LOVES purple!! :) So, just for fun, I made her a lovely purple ruffle dress.

This dress is based off of a couple of ideas from two dress Tutorials. The asymmetrical bodice comes from Jess over at Craftiness is not Optional. Her Emma Dress planted the idea in my mind, except that I accidentally put the buttons on the wrong side. Oops. :) The pattern I used for the bodice came from the Spring Fever Dress from Me Sew Crazy. I used the size 4, and took it in slightly, keeping the length.

I added small flowered buttons down the asymmetrical front and larger pearly buttons down the back.

And then I headed over to Bonnie Togs and found a cute cream onesie with a peter pan collar and small black dots.

Cherishing the Moments

Some days are just special. The day someone says “I love you” for the first time. The day that your first child was born. The day you graduate from college or the day you receive the news that you just got your first job.

There are smaller increments of time that are special too. Hours. Moments. The first smile. The fluttering of eyelashes belonging to someone who is sick. A look of love. A conversation. A tear.

And hour spent with your Oma talking about life. About the past. About the future. About our heritage. About God. About the things that count. Tears are shed in love and in sorrow, but also in thankfulness.

Those are the moments that count. Those are the words that you keep in your heart forever. Words that bring tears, but also bring joy.

Cherish those moments, and remember that God is there. He has given you those moments, those hours, those days. Those memories. They are for a reason.

Take time in like to stop and pay attention. Take the time to visit with those who are special. Soak in each memory you can with everyone around you. Create memories for yourself, but really, create them for others.

Life is a rat race, but remember that first smile, that first “I love you”, those last words, those tears shed.

Cherish those moments.

Skirt Re-Fashion

I made a gift for a little girl I baby sit. I had this skirt from somewhere in a size 8, she is a skinny size 3/4. :) I simply followed some basic skirt re-fashion steps, and voila!!! :)

Here is the original:

I cut a number of inches off the top (leaving enough fabric for the new elastic casing) and an inch off of each side. It did end up a tad big, but that can always be fixed. (sorry for the blurry picture)

And Finished!!! :)

  

Add a sweater and you have a cute half-homemade outfit for a special little lady!!! :) (again sorry for the blurriness) 

Simply Said...

With GOD all things are possible!!!!

Book Review: It's (not that) Complicated

I am going to warn you.... This is going to be the strangest book review you have ever read... I haven't even read the whole book yet. But hear me out would you? There is something to this that I want to share.

I read a book a couple of years ago entitled So Much More, written by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin. This book changed the way I think... I would argue that it was the beginning to my change of thought on so many issues. I think I was in grade 11 or 12 at the time. I won't go into it now, as I want to focus on these girl's most recent book: It's (not that) Complicated.

The over-arching question this book asks is, "What's a girl to do about boys?" Good question right? I think we, as girls, ask this question daily. And how we answer this question determines how we view relationships, guys and essentially all relationships in our lives. And, yes I said ALL RELATIONSHIPS, for our view on relationships with guys stems out of our view of the family, the roles of men and women, etc.... and the relationships in our families, i.e. dad and mom, brothers and sisters, comes out of that as well.

That is why I am writing a book review of sorts before I have even read the whole book. I was strongly convicted at this point, and felt I couldn't keep reading before I gave this topic some good thought and application in my own life.

The first couple of chapters lay the ground work for the proper, biblical view of relationships. And then we arrive at chapter 4: Relationship Boot Camp - Back to square one: How to be sisters to your real brothers. I find this is the hardest thing to do. Our families seem to get all the moodiness and unpleasantness. We don't help out at home near as willingly as we help out at someone else's home. We tend to hold more resentment against our family. Yes, we know them better, but that doesn't give us any excuse.

Our home is to be our training ground. It is where we learn to get along with others, ignoring their quirks and learning to  deal with their problems. Where we learn to serve others and share the love of Christ with them. How are we to someday serve our husbands and family if we can't even make do in our own homes right now?

Our brothers are also place in our lives (if we have brothers that is) to help us 'practice' on them. I won't go into tons of detail, you can read that on your own when you get the book. ;) I do want to highlight some principals that the Botkin sisters share in interacting with our brothers, as well as other boys and men in our lives. They call these principles the "Five Habits of Highly Effective Sisters".

1. Demonstrate Respect: How are our brothers and other men around us going to respect us if we don't give them due respect and (lovingly) demand respect out of them?

2. Let them assert themselves, lead and teach you things: Give them opportunities to lead. Allow them to teach you things, even if you are older than them. Yes, they might fail, but encourage them and allow them to learn as well.

3. Talk with them: How are you to cultivate a relationship with someone if you don't even talk to them about both the insignificant and the great things in life?

4. Become part of their world: Take interest in what they do. Don't dismiss their likes and dislikes because you think they are 'dumb' or simply don't get it because you are not a guy. For example, don't say fishing and hunting are boring and dumb because you don't get why they like them and you think they are extremely boring. Take interest and ask them questions about it, no matter what you think.

5. Repent of past wrongs: We need to forgive each other to have a proper, healthy relationship with them. It doesn't matter who they are, but it is especially important to forgive one another when you live under the same roof. And don't let things fester. Forgive one another right away, as to not hinder your relationship with that person.

I found these five principles really, really helpful and very convicting as well. They are practical, and so very important.

*** I have now read the entire book, and it is just as good as the beginning is!!! I encourage every girl to pick up this book and read it. Even if you just get to chapter 4, you will still have learned so much, you will not regret buying it!!! You can get it online from the Botkin Families publishing company, the Western Conservatory as well as from Amazon.com. I got my copy from Reformed Book Services and Brantford, and it was cheaper there than even on Amazon!! :) ***

Lowell Lake Lodge 2013 – Part 6

Part 6 – Family

And I don’t even have shots of everyone. Oh well…

 

And this just makes me laugh!! :) I have recollection of taking this picture, and I have no idea what Josiah is doing, but it is funny anyways.