I don’t know what your church looks like, after a usual Sunday service, but this is what I have noticed in a number of churches I have attended. This seems to be the general pattern in a number of conservative reformed churches.
The older members are sitting down drinking their coffee together. Moms are gathered around the nursery collecting their children after the service. The youth are standing in their respective circles. The ‘middle aged’ couples are scattered around, talking with their friends and family. The all but the youngest children are no where to be seen, for they are squirreled away in Sunday School listening to Bible stories they already know.
There are a number of ‘issues’ revealed here, one of them is the generation gap, the other is the discussion regarding the pros and cons of age-segregated church ministries. I want to focus in on the generation gap. What does this look like? Well, pretty much like the instance above. People within the church spend the majority of their time with others the same age. The generations are not creating bonds and ties. In a way, this is natural. We tend to have more in common with those our own age. But, for a healthy and strong church, it is essential that all ages mingle.
Imagine what knowledge the older members are able to pass on to the younger ones. Older people are full of wisdom and knowledge gained through one of the best teachers: life experience. Younger members are able to create joy in the lives of the older members. Share their passions and zeal, as well as serve and care for the older members.
Age-wise, the youth are really in the middle of the church. There are children and infants younger than them as well. Creating bonds with the children can lead into bonds that will last a lifetime, and strengthen the church in years to come. These children also have parents, parents who are often tired and very busy. The youth can step in there too. Serve families within the church, and at the same time glean much knowledge for later in life.
This isn’t just me talking, this is also what God has commanded. He has commanded this specifically in I Timothy 5 & Titus 2. In I Timothy 5 Paul gives us advice on dealing with, and working with those within the church, he pointed his teaching at Timothy, a pastor, but this can be applied to us all as well, specifically verses 1 & 2 which say, “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers,older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.” Titus 2 is even clearer. verses 1-10 explicitly teach how we are to act within the church. Verse 4 really brings out the command for the older members to counsel the younger members. It is addresses to women, but applies for men as well
“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you. Exhort bondservants to be obedient to their own masters, to be well pleasing in all things, not answering back, not pilfering, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.”
So, what should our churches look like after the average Sunday service? A couple youth sitting down and sharing coffee with the older members. Middle-aged men and women connecting with and mentoring the younger men and women. A number of girls and young ladies heading to the nursery offering to watch little ones, so their mom’s don’t have run after them. Children of all ages running around, interacting with everyone.
How do we change this and start bridging the gap? Ultimately this needs to come from the hearts of every family within the church.
Here are some suggestions:
- organize church gatherings which bring together all people of all ages within the church. A potluck supper combined with some fun sports, board games, and such is an amazing idea
-Invite people over to your house. It doesn’t have to be supper, dessert or a campfire is sufficient. Invite members from across the ages. Connect with them, create relationships with them. Discuss important topics with them.
-Simply walk up to people you don’t know so well and ask them how their week was. You go to church with them every week, and drink coffee made in the same coffee percolator. They are standing a walking distance away. Connect with them.
I realize that the latter picture is rather idealistic, but it can be at least partly attained. I have been in churches where this actually happens, it takes time and effort and an intentional move towards getting to know everyone within your congregation.
What are you doing in your congregation to bridge the generation gap?
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